When we left California, Bryon and I bid farewell to an intricate web of friends. Different groups scattered across the Bay Area—friends from my time in the wine business, Bryon’s nearly two decades at Visa, my non-profit work, our gardening exchange, the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir family. Friends in Redwood City, Hayward, Oakland, San Francisco, Concord, and Angels Camp. At our “Goodbye and Good Buys” party, people came together from all corners of our lives, many meeting each other for the first time. Name tags with a one or two-word description of their connection to us might have come in handy.
We lived in San Leandro for several years before making a group of friends within a short drive or walk from our house. What started out as a book club of whip-smart women expanded into the San Leandro Super Pals, which included significant others, and in time, adorable babies and toddlers. We made the most of our proximity, attending cooking competitions, impromptu BBQ’s, brewery visits, holiday celebrations, and dinners. It had taken time, but we finally felt like we had a sense of place and people to count on to lend a hand (without having to cross a bridge or deal with freeway traffic).
In our new chapter here in the Boistfort Valley, we reset to zero. No jobs, no friends, no idea if we would fit in. Of course, there have been hiccups, like taking ages to find a job or the nights where I let my fears of not belonging translate into too many tears. But honestly, I’m amazed at the progress we’ve made in about four months.
Within a couple weeks of moving in, one neighbor brought us a bag of fresh corn on the cob, along with her contact information, and another one brought us cookies. In September, we hosted a small but lively housewarming party, for which I posted an invitation at the nearby post office. I enjoy meeting monthly with an advocacy organization of like-minded folks and even ended up as the chair of the fundraising committee. At the suggestion of our home’s previous owner, Bryon joined the Lions Club. He gets to meet people and give back to the community, like when he recently went around the Valley collecting donations of food and money to help feed those in need.
But two experiences in the past few weeks cemented my feeling that we moved to exactly the right place.
One was Thanksgiving, a holiday focused on fellowship and food. We celebrated with my family a couple weeks early and planned to go to a buffet at a local restaurant on the actual day. Luckily, our neighbors, the owners of Boistfort Valley Farm where Bryon works, invited us to join their family and friends for dinner. They welcomed us warmly, and we stuffed ourselves on the homegrown bounty and the homespun tales. By the end of the evening, my stomach ached from all the food and laughter. Truly, a well-fed body and soul.
The other indicator was a recent Grange meeting. Bryon and I joined the Baw Faw Grange, a group whose mission is to support farms, families, and communities. The first time in October, we participated in the “spooky” themed potluck dinner, then listened to the lively discussion focused on one setback of rural life—a lack of reliable phone and internet services. The November meeting was more subdued, but it made my heart sing, due to a couple instances:
After last month’s recap and other business, the treasurer stood up and exclaimed, “Boistfort Valley is full of wonderful people!” He shared how his wife sensed, over the phone, that something was wrong with him when she was out of town. Soon after, neighbors showed up and took him to the hospital. Then when she suffered from sickness while he was still recovering himself, more neighbors showed up with food and to provide transportation. He then asked, “If we can’t help people, then what the heck are we here for?” I couldn’t agree more.
Later in the meeting, the lecturer gave a presentation on his finely tuned garden guide specific to timing in the Valley...perhaps inspired by another member connecting him with Bryon and me at the last meeting in regards to planting advice. In addition to copies of his timeline for the group, he provided lots of garlic and shallot starts for everyone to take and plant in January. And when Bryon and I went to thank him and ask a few more questions, he drew us a map to his house and offered to share wiring, garden twine, and tools.
People are just like that here. Giving of their food, their time, their guidance. Looking out for others. When I recently brought homemade pumpkin bread and a welcome note to the family who moved next door, I felt like I was beginning to give back some of the hospitality we’ve been granted. And I can’t wait to receive and give even more.