Once upon a time, there a was a nice little garage tent living happily near our Christmas tree lot. We gave it a home there because the location was convenient for accessing seasonal equipment and situated on high ground that does not flood. Farming is all about trying things, learning from them, and then trying again, and canopy tents are no exception. We soon decided that there was a better place for this storage solution about 200 yards away, near the bird run.
A simple matter of moving a tent garage past the crops and chickens, around the apples, between the garden and pigs, to rest alongside the bird run.
Since the whole thing should be completely disassembled before moving, operation "Relocate the Big Vinyl Tent" was put off for months. Eventually, I found myself with an hour to spare that coincided with some leftover motivation. There wasn't enough time to disassemble the whole thing, so I decided to start with the minimum — untether it from the groundscrew anchors — and see if I could move it fully assembled.
When upright, it would take six people to manage, but if flipped on its spine I figured I could drag it across the grass with a big tarp underneath.
Once flipped over, this 11.33 cubit vinyl ark needed to be dragged about 200 yards to its new location. Farley saw me struggling with it and came out to help. Things got a bit tippy as a slight breeze came up to raise the ante on this adventure. 100 feet later we both agreed, in a somewhat animated fashion, that it was better for me to continue alone.
With a bit of sweat and a few rest stops, I managed to get it the rest of the way to its new spot, flipped upright, and temporarily secured with 150 pounds of cement blocks in the allotted time. I thought removing the groundscrew anchors would be difficult, so decided to leave well enough alone until the next day when I could devote my full attention to finishing the task.
About 24 hours later I checked the tent — yep, still there! — then returned to the original site to retrieve the anchors. To my surprise, the hardware was of good quality and thoughtful design. Some anchor screws are designed to only go in one direction, but these bargains were configured with screw blades that make 'unscrewing' the anchors a breeze when done with enough leverage, which in this case was achieved with a king-sized screwdriver.
Anchors in hand, we were 20 minutes away from being done as I returned to the tent. And then this happened:
It must have been fully airborne because there was no damage to the sunflower crop situated between where we left the tent and where we found it.
We were astonished, as there was only a slight breeze to be felt at that moment. Resolved not to be beaten, we quickly attempted to put the ship on its keel and slide it 50 feet back to the new site. It meant sacrificing a few of our soon-to-bloom, dry-farmed sunflowers, but if it could be done without damage to the canopy, it would be an acceptable loss.
It was not to be. Murphy's Law factors very heavily into the physics of farming, and the breeze we felt moments earlier was merely an appetizer. Shortly after getting underway, Murphy's main course of wind came up and showed us just how foolish the whole endeavor was destined to be. There we were, the last two surviving pirates aboard the renegade HMS Vinyl Ark, attempting to save her from the depths of our south pasture sea. We heaved. We hoed. And we cursed like sailors.
The walls came tumbling down.
And then I made the executive decision that it was no longer worth trying to save a $200 Harbor Frieght garage tent. The top was torn, the legs were bending, and we really needed some grog. At the risk of losing my precious wife to an unintentional gravity defying liftoff, I asked her to hold down this accidental sail while I retrieved the necessary tools for full deconstruction. Its bones still lay on the beach of our defeat.
The following day I bought two identical replacements (they were on sale!). The next time you would like a little breeze, just let me know… and I will attempt to set these up.
P.S. It’s not all flying buildings and no time off these days —lots of great stuff is happening around the farm:
Our dry-farmed sunflowers are beginning to bloom. These have been grown with zero irrigation. Those are the tent bones in the background.
Moira - our first goose born on the farm, is growing up strong and healthy (and noisy!)
Gravy Lady is still regal as the Moon.
And double knots still hold true. More on this knot nosher next week!