There are few universal coming-of-age rituals left in modern society. For Americans, it has recently been limited to getting a driver’s license (soon to be obsolete), registering to vote, and being old enough to buy alcohol legally. For a driver’s license at least, you are supposed to be a certain age AND demonstrate a certain level of competency. For the other two, competency is not even required - you really only need to be alive for the requisite number of years. So what does it mean to become an adult and how do you know you’ve really achieved it?

It all comes down to poop. Yes, the figurative ‘poop’ is a big factor in many of our lives (“can you believe this poop? Why is this happening to me?”) but I’m talking about the literal stuff. Poop (using this word often here to desensitize you - I’m helping you grow up!) is an awkward thing for most people starting out.

I realized only just recently that at some point in the last 13 years together, my wife and I reached a stage where discussions about poop are easy and no longer awkward. Sooner or later, there’s just no pretending where you were for the last 10 minutes (or 20). It’s only a matter of time before you have to explain why you’re getting off the freeway (again). Being in a relationship can be very useful in helping you become an adult, but it’s not so much learning to talk about your feelings, or being a good listener, or helping with the laundry - it’s really about about getting comfortable with each other on the subject of poop (literally, but figuratively works here too).

In our case, having dogs played a big role in this process. They don’t use a toilet, they don’t wear diapers, and they are mostly indoor due to their size and the weather. This means that we have to maintain active intelligence on their pooping status. “Did they poop?” is heard almost every day in our house, especially during rainy season - moving to western Washington means talking about poop even more. Failure to monitor this crucial activity can result in disaster, especially since our Buster is a walking pooper. None of this pile of poop stuff. We’re talking archipelagos of poop. So announcements are made (“yay! They both pooped!”) and celebrated with treats when the pooping goes well. 

Now that we’re in the country, I see new kinds of poop I’m not used to seeing, so I stop and examine it. This is important - you gotta know your poops out here. What if it’s bear poop? You need to know if there’s a bear around. What if it’s cougar poop? Would you even know it if you saw it? After only a short time here I can tell you what our local coyotes’ seasonal diet is like. Berries in summer, apples in fall, interspersed with the occasional rabbit, etc. It’s not uncommon for me to walk into the house and say out load “check out this poop I found...” No, I don’t bring the actual poop inside! Pictures - lots of poop pictures.

Soon, we’ll be adding livestock to our activities here, and then there will be a whole lot more poop. We’re going to need a way to clean up large quantities of poop, poop transportation, poop composting, poop aging and storage, and environmental protection plans to keep any of that poop from ending up in water systems and on land beyond our property. It’s a lot of poop to think about.

Fortunately, we’re all adults here. If we can talk about poop, we can handle the poop. It’s just not the kind of thing people warn you about as criteria for growing up. Someone should have said “Listen kid, there’s gonna be poop. A lot of poop. The sooner you get comfortable talking about it, the better.” Recent discoveries regarding the human microbiome have revealed a great deal about human health through the study of our poop. This new information can be of great benefit to those that can talk about poop, so get out there and start up a poop conversation. It might be awkward at first, but just remember, it’s all part of growing up!